OnSale.com Merchant Deal Feed
$18.99 for $56.99 Value – Enjoy Unlimited Wireless Connectivity with the CP Technologies LevelOne Netcon 4-Port Wireless G Broadband Router – Includes FREE Shipping
- Complies with IEEE 802.11b/g
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- Browser-based interface configuration and management: OS independent, easy-to-use for consumer install.
- Built-in firewall to protect your Intranet.
- Supports Wireless security including 64/128-bit WEP, WPA and 802.1x
- VPN support: pass through of PPTP, L2TP, and IPSec.
- Built-in NAT function: allow multiple PCs and devices to share one Internet connection.
- Supports Windows 95/98/ME/2000/XP, Macintosh and Unix
- Easy to upgrade: using Web or windows utility to upgrade firmware
Only $84.99 – Easily Create Fresh, Nutritious Fruit And Vegetable Juices At The Comfort Of Your Home with the Cuisinart Juice Extractor – Includes FREE Shipping!
- Die-cast and stainless steel housing
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- 2-liter pulp container
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- Easily juices hard and soft produce
- All removable parts are dishwasher safe
- Cleaning brush included
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$25 for $85 value—Round out your jewelry box with a timeless pair of Pearl Stud Earrings
—Jerry, you old so-and-so. I just read through the script. Marvelous, baby. Marvelous. I knew you were the go-to guy for this project. There aren't too many writers who could adapt The Tempest as a spaghetti western. Damn fine work.
—Well, they don't call me the Bakersfield Bard for nothing.
—Indeed. Now, Jerry. I wouldn't be doing my job as a producer if I didn't have some notes for you. I love 99% of what you've written, but there's just one little section that's rubbing me wrong.
—Don't worry, Sam. I've got thick skin. Lay it on me.
—Glad to hear it. Okay, in beginning scene after the Governor of Texas's boat is wrecked by Prosperado's spells, and the Governor's son, Ferdinandito, finds himself stranded on the banks of Corpus Christi, he hears Ariel's ghostly song.
—Sure, sure. The full fathom ditty. How does it go again? Oh, right: Full fathom five thy father lies; of his bones are coral made; those are Lauren St. Julian 6mm to 7mm freshwater sterling silver pearl stud earrings that were his eyes.
—Yeah…yeah. There's just something about that line sticks in my craw. It just seems…well, it seems a tad wordy to me. Do we have to go into all that detail about the size of the pearls and their sterling silver clasps? Can't we just stick with the original those are pearls that were his eyes?
—I don't think it's that wordy, Sam. I mean, we want to give the audience a concrete image, right? What better way than through a vivid description of the alluring yet subtle look of a pair of Lauren St. Julian freshwater pearl earrings set in sterling silver?
—Aren't the pearls just a metaphor?
—A metaphor? Can you add an elegant touch to your little black dress with a metaphor? Can you win the heart of the girl you love with a little box of metaphors? I've tried both, Sam. And let me tell you—metaphors can't solve your problems the way a timeless pair of pearl earrings can.
—Alright, alright, Jerry. We'll keep it as is. Now, let's go grab a bite. All this talk of pearls has me craving sushi.
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$24.95 for $50.85 Value—Rejuvenate your skin with Dead Sea Salt Scrub (10oz), Shea Body Butter (8oz), and Cuticle Oil Treatment (1oz) from Dead Sea Spa Care
A lot of the newbs that step into the ring think all then need to win a belt are rock-hard pecs, a few signature moves, and a great one-liner. Take it from me—that's all bologna. Wanna know the secret to my pro wrestling success? I never give my opponents anything to grab. Body hair? Shaved. Trunks? Skin tight. Arms? Held in tight like a T Rex. If they can't get a grip, they can't toss me to the mat. That's why they call me El Otter.
Sometimes, a real persistent adversary might get in close enough to wrap his paws around my chest, and he thinks he's got me. Little does he know, though, I have a secret weapon: Dead Sea Spa Care products. My pre-bout regiment of scrubbing, buttering, and cuticle treating makes my skin as soft and slippery as a greased-up hot dog. I slip through my foe's fingers, surprise him from behind, and BLAMO—my Flying Aerial Scissor Snaptacular lays him out flat.
I don't usually like to spill all my trade secrets, but I'll break it down for you. I start off by rubbing my body head to tow with the Dead Sea Salt Scrub. It's formulated with minerals from the Dead Sea for a deep exfoliation that leaves my skin fresh, moisturized, and youthful. Once all the dead skin's gone, I slather myself with Dead Sea Shea Butter. It hydrates my skin without leaving behind a greasy film, so the refs can't tell I'm lubed. For the finishing touch, I treat my nails with a few drops of Dead Sea Cuticle Oil to keep them healthy, hangnail free, and looking spectacular for all the close-up shots of me holding up my championship belts.
You might think all these fancy imported beauty products might take a dent out of my take-home pay, but I've got yet another trick up my supple sleeve: OnSale. They have a special bundle with a 10oz jar of Dead Sea Salt Scrub, an 8oz tub of Dead Sea Shea Body Butter, and a 1oz bottle of Dead Sea Cuticle Oil Treatment—all for an amazingly low price. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going head to head with The Pretzel Maker tonight, and I have some salt crystals to rub into my skin.
Email: [email protected]
Tel. No.: 972-382-8258
www.deadseaspacare.com
$17 for $35 Value — Stay warm and make a statement handmade wool animal hats
Russell, Freeze! Don't move a muscle. I think there's something…something on your head. Could it…oh god! Oh god oh god oh god. It's a tiger! Russ…there's a tiger on your head. Just stay calm. And whatever you do, don't be scared. Fear only whets their appetites. And once they're hungry, only man flesh sates their bloodthirsty bellies. Betcha didn't think I knew anything about tigers, did you, Russ. Why do you think I watch so much Animal Planet? For Meerkat Manor?
Wait. Why am I talking about TV at a time like this? Okay, Russ. We've gotta focus. We need a plan. Quick. Think. What do we have in the house that might distract this wild beast from sinking his teeth into your jugular and making you his brunch? A gray langur maybe? Or a wild boar? Tigers love a good boar, but I think the closest thing we have is some low-sodium bacon. I'll go grab it. Hold tight, dear.
…
Well, I couldn't find any bacon, but we did have some hotdogs hiding in the back of the crisper…Russell. Don't move! I can't believe it, but I think a bear snuck in, ate the tiger, and now wants your face for dessert. Why is this happening to us, Russell? Whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyy?
Why are you laughing, Russell? You're about to know how a salmon feels inside the merciless jaws of a grizzly. It's no time for levity…unless you've gone mad from fright. Or maybe it's me who's lost it? No show I've ever seen mentioned anything about bears being lined with fleece. Or having tassels. Or…wait a second…did that package of handmade Himalayan wool animal hats arrive? Geez, Russ. I nearly had a heart attack. Now, where's my penguin?
$2 for $30 Value—Slip into something more sparkly with a double-tiered Austrian crystal bracelet
—What's wrong, honey?
—Lo, a thief! A thief! A motherless son of an Orlock hath breached the walls of our keep and made off with my most prized possession—the legendary Bracelet of Resistance.
—Do you mean that friendship bracelet your friend Billy made you for your 12th birthday?
—Aye, the very one. Recall, ye, how many ghouls he smote to secure it from the dreaded Mount Chaos? He nearly fell under the spell of the vile wizard, Lazem Oridial, during his escape. Were it not for the bracelet's +10 Divine Deflection properties, he surely would have perished. And now, just three and sundry moons later, some cur hath arrested it from my Bag of Holding.
—Aww, pookie. I'm sorry you lost your bracelet. I'm sure it'll turn up sooner or later. It couldn't have just walked out of the house.
—By the bones of Burkaneb, I'll make the snot-faced hoglout thief pay dearly. But I must temper my rage, for our clan is set to meet on the field of Mars when the sun reaches its zenith to do battle with our sworn enemies. Yet how shall I survive the melee without my bracelet?
—I didn't realize you boys had a LARPing date today? Well, let's see if I can't help you out with a replacement. Hmmm…I know. How about a double-tiered bracelet from Cost Brothers Deal?
—Behold! What mystical bit of craftsmanship is this? Surely, there must be magic behind the fire of these stones?
—I don't know about magic, but it does have two rows of dazzling 3mm Austrian crystals—80 of them in all. And they're set in silver-plated alloy that stretches to fit almost any wrist.
—I am quite familiar with the Prussians' reputation with gems and their metallurgical acumen, but this is simply breathtaking.
—Well, I'm glad you like it. Are the clear crystals okay, or would you prefer something with some more color? I also have it in blue, gold, pink, green, red, black, and light blue.
—In the name of Ebakaneezer! Did you barter away every last gold piece from our coffers for these treasures?
—Not at all, dear. They were on special at OnSale.
—Prithee, forgive my harsh tongue, fair matron. I did not mean to question your husbandry, and I thank thee for your kind offer. I shall borrow the red bracelet.
—That's okay, sweetie. Now, do you need a ride to the park?
—Indeed, but may we first stop for provisions? We cannot expect to wage a winning campaign without Funyuns and the Dew of Mountains.
Only $84.99 – Keep An Eye On Your Baby's Every Move Through Your iPad, iPhone, or iPod touch with the Belkin WeMo Baby Monitor – Includes FREE Shipping!
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$90 for $180 Value—Get a fresh new look with a cut, blow, and curl at Rizzi's Hair Design
—Welcome to Rizzi's Hair Design. Please, take a seat. So, what are we going to do today?
—I'm hairy noon and night, hair that's a fright! I'm hairy high and low—don't ask me why, don't know! It's not for lack of bread, like the Grateful Dead, darlin'!
—Uhh…okay. The receptionist said you picked up our special half-off cut, blow, and curl package from OnSale. Let's start with the cut. How much do you want me to take off?
—Give me down to there, hair! Shoulder length or longer!
—So…a couple of inches?
—Here, baby. There, mama. Everywhere, daddy daddy!
—An around-the-world, trim? Not a problem. Are you planning on wearing it down mostly, or putting it up?
—Let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees! Give a home to the fleas in my hair! A home for the fleas, a hive for the bees!
—Fleas? Bees? I can assure you that our salon is completely up to code. We brew our Barbicide fresh every morning.
—Flow it! Show it!
—Right, back to your hair. Your OnSale deal includes a blow-dry curl. Would you like tighter curls or something a little more Farrah Fawcett?
—I want long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty…
—That's a pretty tall order for one session.
—Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen…
—I haven't done a flaxen/waxen treatment since beauty school.
—Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!
—I tell you what. Let's get started with the cut, and nail down the style at the end.
—Haaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiirrr!
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**Click Here To View & Claim Mail-in Rebate
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$399.99 for $1,099.99 Value – Defend Your Home Or Business, Safeguard Your Loved Ones And Deter Intruders with the Zmodo 4CH Network NVR System with 4 Wireless Day Night IP Cameras and 1TB HD (Upgraded System) – Includes FREE Shipping!
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$39.99 for $92.99 Value – Free Up Space On Your Internal Hard Drive Or Bring Your Important Files With You Wherever You Go with the WD Elements 320GB USB 3.0 Portable Hard Drive - Black – Includes FREE Shipping!
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- Case with Bluetooth wireless keyboard and stand
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- iPad 2
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Only $84.99 – Print Impressive Labels And USPS® Approved Postage From Your PC Or Mac At Super Fast Speeds with the Dymo LabelWriter 450 Turbo Label Printer w/25 lb. Digital USB Postal Scale - Includes FREE Shipping!
- DYMO Productivity software suite features DYMO Label 8, DYMO File, and Address Fixer software
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Dymo M25 Digital USB Postal Scale
$54.99 for $156.99 Value – Surf the Web, Play Games, Watch Full Movies and Videos, and More with the Ultra Thin, Portable, And Easy-On-The-Wallet Android 7" Velocity Micro Cruz T301 WiFi Tablet – Includes Free Shipping!
*Manufacturer Refurbished; comes with 90-day warranty
$14.99 for $30.99 Value – Convert A Plain Old Fashioned AC Outlet Into A Modern Day Outlet Surge Wall Tap with the Syba Multimedia UPG 3 Wall Outlets and 2 USB Ports – Includes FREE Shipping!
It features 3 fireproof and surge protected outlets plus 2 USB charging ports for today's portable devices.
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- 15A
- 120V AC
- 60Hz
- 1800W
- 2 USB Ports:
- 2.1A
- 5V
- Surge Protection LED Indicator
Only $49.99 – Capture The Sun And Light Up The Night with the 4-Sight One Light Solar Powered LED Light – Includes FREE Shipping!
One Light Solar Powered LED Light
- Portable and perfect for camping
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- Includes a free table stand
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